Friday, April 29, 2005

ask jane - jacuzzi jizz

Can I ask a safer stripping question? :) The new place that I'm working has several jaccuzzi's which are emptied and cleaned daily, but I'm sure they get jizzed in at least four or five times a night. The owner claims that he puts chemicals in them, but I don't beleive him. What can I catch from the hot tubs? What are the odds?


First off, you’re not going to get pregnant. Sperm cells die very quickly in the heated and cholorinated water. But what about the rest of the semen, including any infections that might be tagging along?

The risk of transmission of STIs via a hot tub or jacuzzi is slim to nil. HIV can not be transmitted in a hot tub. Syphilis can not be transmitted. I could not find any information on gonorrhea. Chlamydia can not be transmitted.

There have been rare cases documented of hepatitis transmission (I’m not sure what strand). Urinary tract infections (UTIs) can be caused by an assortment of bacteria in the water, not necessarily linked to semen.

Outside of the water, be conscious of sitting without a towel or suit poolside or on a wet bench. Rarely, herpes can be transmitted in this manner. Muluscum contagiousum and trichomoniasis can also be transmitted.

However, there are other bacterial infections spread in hot tubs. These include “hot tub lung”(rare) and “hot tub folliculitis or follicitus” (fairly common). Hot tub follicitus causes a rash that can look like chicken pox or scabies. It will usually heal itself in one to two weeks. It is not contagious outside of the hot tub (or other wet arena) – not spread by skin-to-skin contact. It is caused by bacteria that will grow in the hot tub water.

Basically, I wouldn’t worry about the semen so much as the hot tub. Hot tubs provide an ideal environment for the growth of bacteria, such as M. avium. This is more likely to occur if a hot tub isn't cleaned or its filter isn't changed as often as recommended. Also, at temperatures above 84 F, added chlorine loses most of its disinfectant properties, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The jets from hot tubs cause bubbles, which may contain abundant bacteria. The bubbles rise to the surface and disperse the bacteria into the air (aerolization)”

The best recommendations I found were to shower with soap and hot water before and especially after you sit in the hot tub and sit on a towel if you are outside the tub itself. A nice comprehensive guide to hot tub safety (that you could hand over to your boss) can be found at

Best of luck, darling. Enjoy your safer sex work.


Thursday, April 28, 2005

new tattoo


IMG_2962 (2).JPG

i heart myles at bowery tattoo. he gave ana mendieta and my shoulder blade some loving. oh yeah.

ONT, that's me

Official Nipple Taper of the Tromapacolypse blood wrestlers (including the lovely Dacia). I brought the red tape. I got to decorate the pretty ladies' boobies. A good time was had by all.

I also took pictures of the messy girls (the "blood" was vegan, smelled like kool-aid, and left them stained red). Dacia has posted a couple over on

I got the chance to hang out with Nadia ( and Dacia's dopplegangers. When I was introducing them to Nadia they subtly inquired if she also had an "alter-ego".

"Not professionally," I replied.

Nadia screamed "what?!?"

I told her, "They want to know if you're a whore, dear."

"A slut, but not a whore," she laughed.

I like a girl that appreciates the distinction.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

the transit fairy

this morning i was visited by the parking ticket fairy. she gave me two wonderful gifts. first, although i was concerned i may have parked a wee bit close to the fire hydrant, she approved via an absence of ticket.

earlier this month i had not been as fortunate and found a ticket beneath my wiper. i was shocked. in the pouring rain the evening before i could not see the no standing sign. oops. the ink of the ticket had run and the delicate paper tore as i peeled it from my windshield.

this morning, with the fairy on my mind, i decided to go online to resolve it (as one good turn deserves another). first, i was surprised when the license plate number on the ticket was not found in the database. looking out the window, i realized the license plate number was not found on my car, either. i ran my correct license plate number and it was absent from the system as well. finally, i ran the ticket number. it turns out the transit fairy made a boo boo writing the ticket and then further fumbled entering it into the system. consequently, the ticket can not be traced to my car.

i called my grandfather with my new found ethical dilema. do i call or venture to the department of motor vehicles and resolve the error, paying the ticket like an upstanding young citizen? "janie, you got lucky. you're home free. don't be a dolt. but don't park there again or the cops may recognize your car and correct the mistake."

and so, i threw my first parking ticket away.

may day went downhill from there as trains were messed up, errands took forever, and everything at the office was due an hour ago. but things are about to get better. i'm on my way to help dacia pick out a latex blood wrestling outfit. then i have physical therapy. a day of extreme vertigo.

Monday, April 25, 2005


walking back to the car after birthday sushi with dacia and her official ex-boyfriend friend, we found a mountain of boxes. i have been scouring craigslist lately for moving boxes, but it seems 75% of the ads want to barter with a "massage" and the rest get snatched up within five minutes of posting. as the boxes were collapsed and stacked together within other boxes, we grabbed a dozen with ease (more specifically, the ex-boyfriend grabbed and propped them up on his skull for the remaining three block). they were crammed into my trunk.

after dropping off dacia and driving home i hauled them out of the trunk and around the block to my apartment (damn alternate side parking at 10pm). i was doing well until they took a kamikaze dive on the front steps. fortunately, a guy walking by helped me collect them and get them inside the front door. at first he was very friendly, but then he started to give me funny looks. i thanked him and hurried inside as he was creeping me out and i needed to pee.

this might not have been a problem had i made use of the original contents of the boxes. i am now the proud owner of over a dozen adult urinary incontinence boxes. i have depends, silhouette, and poise extra. these boxes are currently being stuffed with all my sex books.

appropriate, as i am moving to teach aging populations sex ed.

abc, cnn, and hiv

a recent big hit amongst international hiv prevention programs is the concept of the abc approach.
abstinence until marraige
be faithful
and when all else fails, use condoms

bush loves this plan. he would like it even better if it was simply ab.

however, a new program is gaining steam. this acronym is for those who have moved beyond sesame street. we're talking cnn.
needles (through exchange programs or sterilization risk-reduction education)
negotiation skills

and much to the chagrin of the vatican and the current u.s. administration, cnn is gaining steam.

check out this new article from agi (alan guttmacher institute).

a freaky friday for birth control

two birth control methods have recently switched places in the game of american availability.

the today sponge is making a comeback after being yanked from the market over a decade ago due to problems with the manufacturer. at the same time, the cervical cap has disappeared after their U.S. distributor took a hike.

personally, i think both methods are less than perfect, and not just in their disturbingly low typical use efficacy rates (72-82% for the today sponge, 68-84% for the cervical cap). Neither offers any protection against sexually transmitted infection. And both rely upon nonoxynol-9 spermicide.

we used to think non-9 was not just a spermicide (renders sperm helpless), but a possible microbicide (ability to kill bacteria and viruses and/or prevent infection). the public health community was shocked and saddened when it was discovered that non-9 actually INCREASES the risk of many sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. this was due to the irritation caused by the harsh chemical (very similar to lysol or laundry detergent). consequently, the world health organization (WHO) passed a recommendation that spermicide not be used by those who have "frequent intercourse" (defined as more than three times a week) and those at risk for HIV infection, and NEVER be used for anal sex.

on the plus side, the today sponge uses a much smaller amount of spermicide than any prescription barrier method (diaphragms, FemCap, Lea's Shield, and the now dead cervical cap). and the spermicide is already in the sponge so no application is necessary.

although condoms (external, internal, latex, and polyurethane) will forever hold my heart as the end-all-be-all of over-the-counter contraception, i suppose the drug stores can make room for this new option that does not require a prescription and does not require participation of a woman's penis-wielding partner.

hey, remember that time...

i pissed on a clients floor because he wouldn't lay off the "i know you can squirt again" bit?

private booth does.

that particular memoir has been reposted on their site at they post entries and memoirs of a sexual nature from people across the www. everything is (supposed to be) honest and true. they have good stuff. and although my overuse of the word "so" is embarrassing, you should check them out.

a spanking is in order

happy birthday dear dacia!!!

congratulations on hitting the quarter century mark.

an extra happy dance for your new site ( and wednesday's blood wrestling. i will be there to retape your nipples between rounds.

a hairy idea

with my illness i stopped shaving. wasn't worth the effort it took to stand in the shower an extra five minutes that could be spent asleep. and i realized how things have changed. more specifically, my hair has undergone a dramatic shift.

when i was born i had blond curls and blue eyes (i could of kicked the charmin baby's ass). however, after my first haircut, my hair came in brown and straight (the eyes darkened as well).

about the time i turned 18, my hair started to have a gentle wave. i learned that if i knotted it in a bun while wet, it would set in curls. i had no idea of the extent of the change. until i cut my lower-back length hair to my chin and nape of my neck (i style i had rocked in my my-so-called-life phase). i was surprised to find it spring up to my ear lobes. i had some hardcore curlage. and it hasn't gone away even as the hair has grown below my breasts (much longer when wet).

inversely, my pubic hair has gone the opposite route. originally my twat and armpits housed tight spirals (although the armpits never got much of a chance to develop). i didn't realize one could style a bush until i hit college, so i grew quite fond of the curls (particularly when pulled upon during oral sex). now that they have had a chance to return, i'm shocked to find my bush and pits devoid of a single curl.

i'm sure we can find a way to blame hormones. but for now i apreciate my hair for its curls and quirks.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

taking it slow when it happens so fast

on friday i woke up from five weeks of sleep. granted, i woke up at 5am. but i was awake and alive again. i went to therapy and physical therapy and the office.

saturday i showed an old friend from junior high (we dated for 24 hours and managed to wrangle his first kiss) around the lower east side while his long distance undefined boyfriend person was at work. we hit toys in babeland (waxed philosophical on the virtues of lube and buttplugs for pain free super fun anal sex), bluestockings book store, and the leslie lohman art gallery (technically soho) for "illegal to see: a portrait of hustler culture by amos badertscher". beautiful. simply beautiful. we ended the afternoon with pastries and coffee at venieros. all this walking was done without a cane.

sunday i found myself at babeland again. i bought a rock chick (thanks nadia and dacia) and a t-shirt and a nifty book on dungeon emergencies. but my favorite purchase was book two of small favors: girly porno comic collection. nadia (of kinky librarian fame) and my neighbor (who hasn't expressed a pseudonym preference yet) and i drooled over the girl on girl action as we munched tea sandwiches and vegan chili at teany's. then we hit dyke knitting circle at bluestockings books. this time i stocked up for the month with stone butch blues, choir boy, a book on alternative circles, the newest issue of bust (amy sedaris' lemon nipples are the bomb), and a dykes to watch out for i hadn't read. of course, they are now devoured except the circus book but it will be complete by this evening. stone butch blues is an amazing classic, and choir boy addresses trans issues in a dark humorous fiction somewhere between geek love and chuck pulahniuk (sp). i also met fellow knitter chris hampton of and agreed to read at june's wysiwyg talent show ( so if you want to meet the real jane before she ditches the city for the texan humidity, now's your chance.

i spent this week taking care of the ailing dacia. had a nice routine of waking up, making her fresh jello, going to work and/or physical therapy, coming home exhausted at 5, crashing for a nap in her bed or on her couch, eating dinner, watching one or two movies, finishing a book, sleep, repeat. even with the tempered pace i was forced to stay home (dacia's home) and sleep all day thursday. so my body is delicate (like the southern flower i truly am).

the best news, though: i got in to grad school!!! i will be attending ut-houston's mph program this fall. that means i'll be heading south in july to the land of dishwashers and airconditioners and in-house laundry equipment. they also awarded me an awesome "outstanding new student" scholarship (you know, cause i'm outstanding) which covers nine credits (each) of my first three semesters and in-state tuition rates for all other credits and fees.

i turned in my letter of resignation to my office job (last day May 12th) and finally wrote my holiday letter/graduation announcement/last call for new york party invite. suddenly, everything's coming up roses.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

hello, pot? this is kettle.

you're black!

i have a history of compulsion. i normally read three books a week. always finish what i'm eating (small bags of snacks are very valuable in this respect). i have read the archives of five web comics over the past month (,,,, i try not to drink often, but when i do i usually have five or six drinks. and sex as a coping mechanism is several posts of it's own. but the line between using something as a coping mechanism (positive) vs compulsive tool of repression (negative) is often hard to discern, especially when you're straddling it.

lately, a friend has been very much on my mind. i have known him since i was an intern in fishnets. over the last year, he's been hit with a new phase of life (turning 40 can't be easy) and a nasty divorce. i see him coping with sex and alcohol to the point of compulsion and addiction.

at first i didn't think it was a problem. he just left a stifling marriage. he had a right to some fun. then i found myself pulling away from him as i began to temper my own drinking and sexual compulsivity. now i hear reports from mutual friends and sometimes read his blog (but his blog persona is so different than the man i knew. his blog is a play-by-play of sexual conquests with little introspection, so no insight gained there.)

over the last month i have become increasingly concerned. i hear reports that he is blacking out, having sex with two or three partners a day (discounting his frequent sex parties), neglecting his family, unintentionally hurting his partners, and ignoring his self. dacia and i joked about calling in ru paul in his short shorts. then we started researching intervention strategies and resources (everybody wants money). we've discussed small two-on-one discussions and larger group interventions. but the friend doesn't return emails, breaks dates saying he can't remember making them, and has been quoted "why have a drink with someone if you're not going to fuck?"

it seems he's grown more concerned with his public persona than himself or his friends. so maybe he'll read this and think about it. or maybe he'll see it as betrayal, using his life for blog fodder. i haven't used names or pseudonyms but he knows who he is. although i don't know if he reads my blog anymore. i would hate to think he knew about my recent health problems and didn't even drop an email or a comment (especially since Dacia and I showed up with dozens of novels during his weekend hospital stay this spring.)

i just want him to take care of himself. and get help. i think a therapist could help him process some of the emotions he's blocking with drinking and sex. or he could just write me off.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

my life in art

this pretty much sums up my current situation.

now you all know why i haven't been blogging. i figure nothing is better than random blabbering about being exhausted, sick, frustrated, and on the rag. i will perk up soon. or just give in to the mediocre rant.