Thursday, January 27, 2005

inquiries

there are three primary questions i have been receiving since the voice article was published two weeks ago.

1. how can i be a whore?
2. what exactly do you do?
3. can i be your john?

now, question one deserves a post all its own. in fact, i'll write one. just not right now when i'm borrowing my neighbor's computer.

question two - depends on the client, the ad, the day, and the donation originally agreed upon. i don't believe in the on-site upsell. if we meet for pussy worship, you will not be fucking my ass for an extra $100 (in the immortal words of cher, as in clueless not sonny and..., "as if!") however, my services don't really matter right now because (see below)

question three - i am not taking on new clients at this time. my office job has currently taken over my life. i thought a semester without school would allow for quality whoring, but that has not proven to be the case. when my current projects end, in march, i may be back in the game. at that time, i'm sure i'll muse about rejoining the working world in my blog. so then, if any would-be johns are still around, you are welcome to email me with your wildest fantasies. but until then, i have closed shop for the season.

8 Comments:

Blogger Garrison Steelle said...

Ah, but the work is always getting in the way of the fun, is it not? ;)

-G

1/27/2005 5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jane:

Obviously, I don't know the contents of the e-mails you got, but I can imagine that some of the "what do you do" e-mails had a different goal from either negotiating an arrangement, or prurient interest (not to speak ill of prurient interest ...)

Given the rolling debate set off by RKB's piece, I think some folks want to know what you do because it is interesting to hear where a woman who is very self-aware and has other options, but happily does sex work, sets her boundaries. Lots of the discussion about sex work deals with parts of it where either (1) the boundaries are in part imposed by law (professional BDSM, stripping); or (2) the sex worker is not really in an advantageous position to negotiate limits, or can only negotiate the critical ones concerning safety rather than those that go to comfort.

You say you're happy doing what you do, and I believe that you are. But I, for one, don't have a lot of insight into happy, self-possessed sex workers like you and Dacia. How you configure your professional encounters so that they are comfortable for you is interesting.

What I'm saying is, just because you're not taking new clients doesn't mean we (or at least I) don't want to know what you are comfortable doing for money, because a woman like you is a little like a laboratory for what sex work would look like in a less unequal, less patriarchal world. And maybe for prurient reasons. Who can ever separate the two? ;-)

Thomas

1/28/2005 10:00 AM  
Blogger Dacia said...

okay, okay. i'll dedicate a post to that one, too. but only because you asked in such a sweet, dorky, intellectual way (intended with all the best connotations).

1/28/2005 10:22 AM  
Blogger Night Sweat said...

Happy to hear you are rewarding yourself. And am happy to see you present yourself as "the educated slut."

I have had experience with maybe 70 different femaile sex workers and found very few (maybe five) who presented themselves have having--or were acquiring--a serious education. I would have thought that sex-work would be a gutsy but highly rewarding and flexible job for a college girl, and that therefore it wuld be a common situation, my own experience is that it is rare. Sex work is mostly done by young women who are at loose ends, not in school, not on any kind of track toward middle class security or income.

Most of the customers of sex workers are significantly older than the women they hire. The fact that this blog is written with a tone and maturity of someone older than a traditional college girl does not mean that the author is approaching beng too old for the work.

But my happiest experience with sex workers has been the three or four instances where people did it for a while, then finished college and got a straight job. Ella, the beloved woman in my own blog, now an attorney in Connecticut, had been a sex worker for three years in her late teens. It was a transition job, not a career. She identified with the work as a place on the path, not as a state of being, an enduring part of her identity.

Night Sweat

1/28/2005 10:28 AM  
Blogger Jane Vincent said...

actually, that dacia comment above is me, commenting from her computer. so there are more details coming in a near future post. i promise.

1/28/2005 8:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd be intrigued to know what you might be studying, but I think you've indicated a number of options that you were interested in. But I heartily concur that among the better options that we could hope for from anyone in a similar situation 'in the life', is the continuation on in their education to meet some higher life goals that will bring you into a better and more rewarding professional service to the public and yourself. This can be teaching, (gee you've already got a good start there), or the example of the woman lawyer might be instructive. But those would be my queries, about how you might be able to integrate this experience into something you might be able to do without going out on a cold night when you're 45 or 50. You know, some comfortable indoor work where you can occasionally develop some real mature relationships, be of service and possibly teach people useful things.

OK, OK, alright how about some slightly less hazardous work in the same vein, right? Good Luck in your studies!--VJ

1/29/2005 2:47 AM  
Blogger Jane Vincent said...

hey, vj.
while i appreciate your support, i was a little offended by some of your phrasing. maybe i'm being overly sensitive/analytical. anyways, let's discuss.

"the continuation on in their education to meet some higher life goals that will bring you into a better and more rewarding professional service to the public and yourself."

honestly, my life goal of helping people understand and explore their sexuality in an informed and supportive environment is well-supported by my current sex work. one of the reasons my therapist believes this is a positive choice for me right now is that it is in line with my goals. i feel i am already providing a rewarding professional service to the public and myself, both through my direct work with clients and through my blog. just because i'm considering changing my approach, does not devalue my current work. future educational efforts, such as the more traditional class-room workshop setting, may reach a wider audience, but may not have as deep an impact upon them as one-on-one sex work.

"how you might be able to integrate this experience into something you might be able to do without going out on a cold night when you're 45 or 50. You know, some comfortable indoor work where you can occasionally develop some real mature relationships, be of service and possibly teach people useful things."

three prongs. first the aging sex worker stigma. many sex workers who chose to stay "in the life" build up loyal client bases and hone their services so that those still providing in their later years (although they may appear to have lower market value) can be making a comfortable living. they are not necessarily stumbling out to the corner to give blow jobs without their dentures.

indoor-work vs outdoor-work. honestly, sex workers who provide in-call do not have any commute. they can live in their apartment/studio/office, have food delivered, have clients come to them, and only have to expose themselves to the elements for personal entertainment (ex. going to a class or a concert). sex work is not always an outside job.

the phrase "real mature relationships" sets my teeth on edge. do you mean with clients and co-workers or are you referring to my personal life outsife of sex work? because i feel a sex worker can have "real mature relationships" of all kinds. dacia over at wakingvixen.blogspot.com is just one shining example. what would make a sex worker's realtionships any less real or mature than a lawyer's?

"slightly less hazardous work in the same vein"
every job has its hazards. i am not pretending sex work is risk free. but working as a gynecologist who provides abortions or teaching sex-ed in an abstinence-only district or doing sexual diversity outreach in a homophobic commmunity carry some extreme risks of their own (all options i am considering).

sex work is a part of my life. when i choose to make a career change, it will not be because i believe sex work is not a valuable profession. it's not better or worse, but different.

1/30/2005 1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My comments back to Jane appear above in her Sunday post (Jan. 30) on 'Better-ing myself'. I appreciate the opportunity she gave me to respond to the post. VJ, Ga.

1/31/2005 2:29 AM  

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