(not) passing

Unlike Dacia (wakingvixen.blogspot.com), I do not have a passing fetish. In fact, it makes me feel yucky.

However, I often find myself (voluntarily and involuntarily) in situations in which full disclosure is not an option. Yes, we all must practice restraint at one point or another. No big deal. Except, I sometimes feel compelled to subject myself to the scenarios in which I must remain closeted.

For example, this past halloween. I could attend a norm-filled college student/brooklyn-dweller keg & costume party OR i could go to a sex party of my nearest and dearest, all of who know that I'm a whore & love me for it. And I was having an exceptionally hard time deciding what I wanted! This should have been a no-brainer, but this little voice in the back of my head keeps emphasizing that one day soon i will be stuck in a world of norms and I have to learn to cope sooner or later (great sex guilt, perhaps?).

Example numero duo: my tendency to develop inexplicable crushes on norms. i have this horrible habit of developing crushes on the innocents. folks (almost always boys) that would be horrified if they knew "the real me." i spent the past semester crushing on the cute skinny education-major, 4-year-old teaching, two past sexual partners, vca porn watching, hesitant to swear, spanish classmate. instead of conjugating in the past indicative, i was fantasizing about dragging the poor little boy into the bathroom one floor below currently under construction and riding his cock on the cold dusty tiles.

on the flip side, this fall i found my self initially reticent to date another full-out sex-person because had this crazy notion that sex people are obligated to recruit through our romantic and sexual maneuvers. dating another sex-person is like preaching to the choir, fun and loud and fabulous, but there could be a greater impact elsewhere. but i'm over it. dating another sex person allows me to be the kinky dork i am without worrying about enlightening or scaring some fragile concept of innocence that society celebrates for no particular reason than tradition.

so, i proudly drink my peppermint tea from my slut mug. three cheers to sex people.