Wednesday, December 01, 2004

the rest of my life

I spent the week of thanksgiving in Tennessee and North Carolina, cruising in my rental car and hauling rocks around a mountain ridge. I feel so different when I’m in that region, better really. My tension dissipates, I breathe easier (despite allergies), and I stop thinking as much (in a good way). My accent returns and the make-up never makes an appearance. I chow down on starches and green beans (and sonic tator tots, oh yeah). And I think about the future. And how I fit.

I’m currently in the waiting room of my GYN (the beauty of my new laptop), waiting for a follow-up colposcopy. I had an abnormal pap back in july, and my first colposcopy confirmed the mild intraepithelial lesions (pre-cancerous fun!). itty bitty and resolved with a punch biopsy. But, being the sexual health research freak that I am, I consumed mass quantities of data and treatment modules. And I looked at dozens of gross pictures. Why? So if the colposcopy was performed with a video screen, as many offices offer, I could have a point of reference (well at least my cervix doesn’t look like THAT). In my research I learned of the cone biopsy. A cone biopsy removes a cone shape chunk from the center of your cervix. Gets rid of a nice hunk of any problems brewing, no more cancer, good stuff. But the repercussions are a little daunting. If you have a cone biopsy and later decide to carry a pregnancy to term, you may need to have your cervix sewn shut and be confined to bed rest for six months. Not cool.

So, I have developed a plan of action, to be implemented depending upon the results of today’s follow-up colposcopy. If everything is pink and normal and happy, I will continue having pap smears every six months, and go on with the baby around 30 plan. But if everything is not pretty, we go to plan b. Plan b (not to be confused with the progestin only emergency contraception pills) involves completing grad school in 1.5-2 years (not obscene) and then having the kid. When I’m 25-ish. Maybe in Houston, if my folks have moved back, so I can have an established support network for the first few years.

Eventually I want to end up in the smokies/blue ridge area (highway 64 between Chattanooga and the okoee mountains, baby). Have a one story two to three bedroom house with a chain link fence, dog, pottery wheel, and kid, and teach sex ed at local junior highs, high schools, community colleges, and senior centers (and even churches if they’ll have an agnostic tattooed bisexual single mom). That’s the ten year plan, but the turkey-baster tot may pop along a little sooner than anticipated. Eep.

Until then, I think I may need to get a dog this spring. I’ll be out of school and working 25 hours (plus additional work from home) so I could swing the necessary walking schedule. I have always thought having a dog in the city is mean, but I would be rescuing a city-doomed pooch from the local shelter and after a few months of bonding, whisk the bitch away to the land of weekend camping trips and evenings at the bay area duck pond.


Blogger Librarian Babe said...

I've had three colposcopies so far and still go for follow up paps. (Just had one last week.) Once it came back registering dysplasia but it seems to have cleared up with the coloposcopy/biopsy that that sample came from. I hear from so many women that they've gone thought this.

From what I've read and heard from doctors this sort of stuff (plus cerivcal cancer itself) is generally (and maybe exclusively) caused by HPV. That little virus is sooooo common. I'm convinced nearly every sexually active human has it. C'est la vie.

Hugs. I know how stressful this can be.

12/01/2004 9:45 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

I hope the medical stuff goes OK, sweetie.

As for the rest, sounds very cool, especially the doggie. Allow me to recommend the English Springer Spaniel. Their ears are high-maintenance, but they're loving, playful, joyful, and just all around great dogs. I definitely plan on having one again someday. One of my few Taylor regrets is that none of you ever got to meet Zinger.

As for the kid, I don't want to sound pompous, but there's worse DNA combos than smart, creative, and onsessed with comic books. ;)

12/01/2004 10:43 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Although if you're in the market for typing skills, I recommend searching elsewhere.

12/01/2004 10:46 PM  

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