Tuesday, August 30, 2005

i haven't been writing

i haven’t been writing
i haven’t been reading
i haven’t been leaving the apartment except to take sandy for a squat or to the park
i haven’t been unpacking or hanging shelves or art or cooking the groceries i finally bought
i haven’t been answering the phone or returning calls or even checking messages
i haven’t been turning on my computer
i haven’t been able to finish anything i start, if i am able to start at all

but

i have found a new therapist. our second meeting is friday.
i have started school. my first class was tonight.
i am looking for volunteer opportunities like delivering food to homebound elderly folk.
i have met several new people, some wonderful, some psycho.

but

still i feel that all I do is sleep and play with sandy and watch animal planet, myth busters, and law & order reruns.
i’m in a bad place.

so i haven’t been writing

i’ll be back soon.

13 Comments:

Blogger Librarian Babe said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've been gloomy. I hope the fog lifts soon. {{{{Hugs}}}} Keeping active really is the best way to combat that (and I'm glad you've found a new therapist).

Take care of yourself - it's the most important thing any of us can do.

8/30/2005 8:28 AM  
Blogger Garrison Steelle said...

((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))

Be safe down there, okay?

8/30/2005 10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We love you! And I think that Law & Order and Myth Busters will cheer anyone up. You'll be ok. Know that we're thinking of you.

8/30/2005 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Bub said...

As someone who just picked up and moved my whole life out of New York, I know how you're feeling. It's depressing, it's stressful, and it's very hard to get the wheels turning on a new life, especially if you're alone. sorry, kid.

The wheels will turn, though. Lucky for you you're in school - you'll get sucked back in and back to life as things start to happen there.

In the meantime, make sure you get yourself outside - moving may not kill your soul, but too much television will.

We like you.

8/30/2005 2:26 PM  
Blogger mainja said...

reading the first several lines of this i was thinking 'oh oh, she's depressed', then i got to the new therapist bit and thought *phew*.

as hard as it is at times like this, take care of yourself, however you need to, if you need to hibernate (except for those therapy appointments and classes) then hibernate.

we'll be here when you get back.

8/30/2005 11:21 PM  
Blogger MrManicDepressive said...

Hey beautiful, don't sweat it. Everybody needs to take a break now and then. It sounds like your busy even if you don't think you are! Have fun, come back and write when you're ready! I know I'll be here waiting. Take care.

8/31/2005 10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*hugs* that sucks, Jane.

But, ya know what? You've been here before. You know the landscape and I'm sure you'll find your way out, hopefully with new knowledge and understanding (cause you're smart and cool like that).

Ember

8/31/2005 3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooh, there's this chant about depression too..

I'm going down down down
Like Innana
I'm going down down down
I'm gonna learn from this journey
as I head on into the pain
I'm gonna weep the tears from my womb
there's a mind for truth down there
I'm going down down down..

8/31/2005 3:57 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

It's a sad world. I don't blame you.

You're still cute regardless :)

9/02/2005 6:37 PM  
Blogger Pantiespantiespanties said...

Law & Order is a reassuring show. Your Bad Place could be worse: you could be playing Everquest all the time. XQ

The volunteering will help a lot! I generally go bowling when I feel that down. It's not like it heals everything, but there's a perceptible improvement, a notch up from beforehand.

9/04/2005 10:50 PM  
Blogger Beasta said...

The important thing is that you have an adorable dog to keep you company!

9/05/2005 4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually came over here because I've been worried about you - I haven't heard from you in a week!

I will be in that area tomorrow after classes- if you like, I'll drag you out for coffee or some such. And we can hang YOUR shelves :)

- 00goddess

9/05/2005 6:41 PM  
Anonymous Introspectre said...

Aw, sweet Jane. I'm sorry you're feeling blue.

Don't judge yourself and consider it well earned "Me Time".

Sometimes we have to fall apart just to figure out the new way we want to put ourselves back together...

9/06/2005 1:31 PM  

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