identity maintenance

i have learned not to force myself to fuck in defense of my identity. as a slut, i celebrate my sexual autonomy, which includes my right not to have sex.

however, my whore identity is threatened by the current drought of tricks. it's not (just) the money (i'm surviving, although the spare change would be nice). my sex worker identity is still infantile (only a year and a half) compared to my slut identity, which is almost eleven. my whore identity requires greater support.

i know conceptually that my whore identity is not inherent upon the whoring itself but rather my experience and ability to utilize sex as a tool of education and profit. however, it still needs the foundation of regular tricks.

i feel like a writer with writers block or an artist in an empty studio. frustrated and impotent.