shove it in me
i have had to fight for three years to get this iud. been through four obgyns, numerous professional consultations, hours of research, and two doses of emergency contraception.
during the insertion i experienced vasovagal syncope. when a certain part of my cervical nerves were stimulated i had hot flashes, became nauseaus and almost passed out. this is not uncommon and my obgyn and nurse (who have provided many iuds) knew exactly what was happening and took care of it professionally and efficiently. as soon as i started sweating (and the color apparently began draining from my lips) they asked if i was still with them. i said i was having hot flashes. "are you dizzy?" "a little" the nurse started fanning my face with my file (flapping like a gimp bird with adhd). the obgyn finished the insertion in under a minute (the whole thing took five) and got me a cup of water and wet towels for my wrists and neck and forehead. she also dragged over the trash bin because i was nauseas. i heaved some kix cereal and orange juice. they made me lie down for ten minutes, coming in every two to check on me. i was not allowed to try and stand without one of them in the room. by the end of the ten minutes, i was feeling better. i paid the receptionist and left the office with my mom.
unfortunately, i couldn't immediately get a seat on the train home and started getting dizzy again, but someone near finally got off at montrose and my mom snagged the seat, threatening to clobber anyone that got in the way of her baby.
when i got home i took an aleve to help with the cramps (i've had worse period cramps, but they were not pleasant) and took a nap. i also put on a pad because i was having some light spotting, which my obgyn had warned could be daily for up to six months.
when i woke up that evening the cramping was over. by this morning i'm no longer spotting. everything is good in my uterus and there will be no babies for seven years. hurrah.