because all i want to do is stay home and watch movies and masturbate and sleep twisted in my uncovered comforter and single top sheet that was not dropped off at the laundry last saturday with all of the other linens in the house (minus one towel). the dishes (which will be taken care of by a sexy sexy lady tomorrow) and my essay (which should be finished before this evening) taunt me.
so i went to the wysiwyg reading http://www.wysiwygtalentshow.org/ on tuesday (where i will be reading in june. come see jane live! oooohhh....) and ran in to the fabulous rachel who will be doing my dishes, hopefully scantily clad (rachel, not the dishes, although they should be scantily clad by the end of it all). we had a hot dog and tator tots at crif dogs after the show. she's trying to score me a black graduation cap. if any of you have a cap that you can lend me for my june 7th graduation, i will love you forever (different from "me love you long time").
wednesday i went to dinner at velseka with friend/neighbor who needs a gd pseudonym. while we were waiting for her friends to arrive (so we could order soup and yummy yummy bread, which we were later swiping from tables as they left the restaurant) a russian guy named tim pulled over a chair and sat down. tim, along with the rest of his table of 15 or so chums, was very drunk. their team had just won a big soccer/futbol game. they were passing around shots of vodka in the water glasses, singing songs and chanting chants, and saluting the flag hung from a railing by salt and pepper shakers. tim tried to pick my friend and me up by telling us of his planned world travels, forcefully blowing in my ear, licking friend's ear (twice!), and finally passing out at our table leaving a puddle of drool between his knees. charming. we let him sleep (he wasn't bothering us asleep) until one of his friends came over to retrieve him.
after neighbor's friends arrived we ate and headed to lolita lounge for the tranny roadshow, which was hot and crowded and good. in a few years, this show could rival the sex workers art shows. a very promising beginning. there was a great performance piece where one transman (i don't know the gender term he preferred, except he) injected himself with testosterone talking about his experiences while another read from the prescription warning label. i am now in love with citizen rahne http://www.trannyroadshow.org/CitizenRahne.html. she needs to make out with me.
yesterday, i brought my essay to jone's beach with my dear friend who has just returned from india. he is madly in love with a girl from bombay, but they are concerned about her traditional family and his orthodox jewish fam. we talked and lay on a blanket between the dunes, eating carrots and hummus. until disaster struck. he was trying to help me pop off the bottom of my sunscreen/chapstick contraption (the screwy mechanism is broken) and sliced his second knuckle to the quick. so we got to spend almost three hours in an emergency room on long island (ironically the same hospital where he was born). i read him all of song lee in room 2b (a sequel to the horrible harry books). he had four stitches and bought me onion rings. nice boy.
then i hauled cheeseburgers and caffeine over to dacia's where we stared at our computer screens and eventually passed out watching batman (side note: why is the new batman not aronofsky's? doesn't "batman beginnings" have an intuitive resemblance to "batman year one"? mike, please step up here).
i'm working on that adjusting to a low-stress life style thing (although i feel pretty freakin' stressed right now). i'll keep you posted.