In the fall of 2003, I wrote a 15 page, 12 pt, 1.5 spaced term paper: Coming to Pleasure – Contemporary Resources for Women with Orgasmic Difficulties. If anyone would like a copy, email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I’ll mail you a hard copy (the electronic file has tragically been lost). Here’s a summary of some of the resources I managed to dig up. Please add your favorites.
Betty Dodson – The Mother of Masturbation has been teaching women and men sexual empowerment through selflove since the early 1970s. In addition to her classic text, Sex for One (originally titled Liberating Masturbation) and the more recent Orgasms for Two, Betty has produced several videos including Selfloving: Portrait of a Woman’s Sexuality Seminar and Celibrating Orgasm: Women’s Private Selfloving Sessions. http://www.bettydodson.com/
Ducky Doolittle – As a sex educator, writer, and spoken word artist, Ducky’s workshops, performances, writings, and website provide valuable information and liberation in a sex-positive, kink-friendly, humor-filled atmosphere. http://www.drducky.com/
Ellen Freidrichs of Sex Edvice – http://sexedvice.com/
Eve’s Garden – The first woman-centered sex boutique in New York, Eve’s Garden has been open since 1974. Located discreetly on the twelth floor of a midtown office building, Eve’s caters to the mature heterosexual woman who wouldn’t be caught dead on 6th Avenue or the former stores of Times Square. The selection is substantially smaller than Toys in Babeland but could be less intimidating in its intimacy. http://www.evesgarden.com
Babeland (formerly Toys in Babeland) – A woman-oriented, male-welcoming, queer-positive, kink-friendly, all around happy friendly non-threatening place to purchase sexuality products including books, magazines, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, fetish gear, videos, lubricants, and safer sex supplies. It is also a wonderful place to seek advice from skilled employees or at one of their frequent workshops. http://babeland.com
Good Vibrations – http://www.goodvibes.com/
Blowfish – http://www.blowfish.com/
Come As You Are - http://www.comeasyouare.com/
Books and Films
Sex For One – The Joy of Selfloving – Betty Dodson’s revolutionary text was the first to liberate female masturbation. Although not a how-to-orgasm guide, such as some other resources, Dodson provides a context for orgasm, masturbation, and pleasure through her lovely illustrations and insightful anectdotes. She believes that masturbation holds the key for women who believe they are “frigid.”
For Yourself – The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality – Lonnie Barbach’s text is a program for preorgasmic women to increase sexual pleasure and achieve orgasm. It was recommended as a valuable text for women with limited experience with masturbation and sexual self-exploration. Barbach, like Dodson, conducted group workshops and individual therapy about women’s sexuality. Her text is geared towards the married or partnered heterosexual woman.
The Clitoral Truth – The Secret World at Your Fingertips – Rebecca Chalker’s contemporary text draws from Dodson and Barbahc, as well as thirty years of feminist and sexual revolution. Not focused specifically on orgasm, Chalker provides valuable information on female sexual anatomy and functioning. She dispels many myths and discusses the effects of power and beliefs (both personal and societal) upon sexual pleasure and experience. This book is the most queer-inclusive text I found. The illustrations are wonderful displaying different body types, ethnicities, ages, couples, and singles. For a woman who desires a more general approach to exploring her sexuality, this is a wonderful place to start.
Becoming Orgasmic – A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women… And the Men who Love Them – This DVD, based on the popular text, is produced by the Sinclair intimacy Institute. It is an educational film geared towards helping heterosexual married women (and their spouses) reach orgasm. The video follows Elaine and Mike as she pursues her first orgasm.
Please Don’t Stop – Lesbian Tips for Givin’ and Gettin’ It – This film, produced by Good Vibrations’ Good Vibes Sex Positive Crew and Homosexual Chocolate, was recommended by the Toys in Babeland staff as a queer-friendly film for women with orgasmic difficulties. However, it does not specifically address orgasm or orgasmic difficulties. Rather it explores and demonstrates ways to enjoy sexual pleasure alone and with your partner.