Ask Jane: Bloody V Day
An inquiring reader asked a very good question today. I thought I would share it with all of you.
Hi. I've been reading your blog for ages, and remember
you mentioning the Instead Cup, and was hoping you
could give me some advice about it. See, as I'm sure
you're aware, V-day is right around the corner, and
I've run across at bit of a dillema...my period. The
Instead Cup seems like a good option, but I know next
to nothing about how it works with sex, how easy it is
to put into place, etc. In terms of having sex while
it's inserted, is there any issue with
slippage/spilling/other problems? It's been decided
already that I'm giving my boyfriend the other area of
access for his gift (although it's kind of a selfish
gift, as I figure I'll get a lot out of it too) so I'm
wonding if I even need to worry about my period...but
as little mess as possible is preferable, and if the
Instead Cup is all it's cracked up to be, it seems
like the best option. One last question: in terms of
insertion, does it take awhile to get the hang of it?
And are rather long fingers required? 'Cause mine are
kinda short...anyway, that's all...thanks for *any*
help you can give me, and I'd apologize for the amount
of detail in this email, but I'm guessing you won't be
bothered/shocked by any of it, and I didn't even need
to use such delicate language...all the same...
Thanks.
My response:
Hey, baby. Happy Valentines Day. It sounds like you'll be having plenty of fun. The Instead Cup is great during sex. It does take a few tries to get insertion down pat, but if you practice, you should have it together for the big day. My method of insertion is as follows.
1. Sit on toilet with legs spread.
2. Unwrap cup from its purple wrapper. Hold the rim parallel to the floor with the cup hanging down (like a U not a M).
3. Squeeze the rim together between two fingers.
4. Begin to insert, while squeezed. At this point your vagina should hold it somewhat squeezed so you can adjust your grip to push.
5. Using one or two fingers, push the cup inside your vagina. Be sure to hook the rim behind your pubic bone in your g-spot. This will help ensure the cup covers your cervix.
Long fingers are not required. I have small hands and stubby fingers (great for fisting) and the cup is my menstrual accesory of choice.
*You may want to use a little extra lube during sex as the cervical (but not vaginal) secretions will be captured in the cup.
To remove, reach inside and hook a finger below the rim. Pull out slowly. Chances are you will get a blood gush the first few times you remove. I squirted across the bathroom on to the heater. But you will get the hang of it.
*You may want to switch out the cup for a tampon when transitioning to anal sex. Anal could dislodge the cup and result in a mess. And always use lots o' lube for anal so you'll both have a rockin' good time.
I hope this helps. Enjoy your valentine's bliss.
Jane
Hi. I've been reading your blog for ages, and remember
you mentioning the Instead Cup, and was hoping you
could give me some advice about it. See, as I'm sure
you're aware, V-day is right around the corner, and
I've run across at bit of a dillema...my period. The
Instead Cup seems like a good option, but I know next
to nothing about how it works with sex, how easy it is
to put into place, etc. In terms of having sex while
it's inserted, is there any issue with
slippage/spilling/other problems? It's been decided
already that I'm giving my boyfriend the other area of
access for his gift (although it's kind of a selfish
gift, as I figure I'll get a lot out of it too) so I'm
wonding if I even need to worry about my period...but
as little mess as possible is preferable, and if the
Instead Cup is all it's cracked up to be, it seems
like the best option. One last question: in terms of
insertion, does it take awhile to get the hang of it?
And are rather long fingers required? 'Cause mine are
kinda short...anyway, that's all...thanks for *any*
help you can give me, and I'd apologize for the amount
of detail in this email, but I'm guessing you won't be
bothered/shocked by any of it, and I didn't even need
to use such delicate language...all the same...
Thanks.
My response:
Hey, baby. Happy Valentines Day. It sounds like you'll be having plenty of fun. The Instead Cup is great during sex. It does take a few tries to get insertion down pat, but if you practice, you should have it together for the big day. My method of insertion is as follows.
1. Sit on toilet with legs spread.
2. Unwrap cup from its purple wrapper. Hold the rim parallel to the floor with the cup hanging down (like a U not a M).
3. Squeeze the rim together between two fingers.
4. Begin to insert, while squeezed. At this point your vagina should hold it somewhat squeezed so you can adjust your grip to push.
5. Using one or two fingers, push the cup inside your vagina. Be sure to hook the rim behind your pubic bone in your g-spot. This will help ensure the cup covers your cervix.
Long fingers are not required. I have small hands and stubby fingers (great for fisting) and the cup is my menstrual accesory of choice.
*You may want to use a little extra lube during sex as the cervical (but not vaginal) secretions will be captured in the cup.
To remove, reach inside and hook a finger below the rim. Pull out slowly. Chances are you will get a blood gush the first few times you remove. I squirted across the bathroom on to the heater. But you will get the hang of it.
*You may want to switch out the cup for a tampon when transitioning to anal sex. Anal could dislodge the cup and result in a mess. And always use lots o' lube for anal so you'll both have a rockin' good time.
I hope this helps. Enjoy your valentine's bliss.
Jane
posted by Jane Vincent at 1:12 AM
2 Comments:
Hey there, just thought I'd chime in... the Instead cup doesn't work at all for me during sex, or at least... I can feel it and my partner can feel it and it's pretty uncomfy. Sea sponges, however, work fab for me! I think everyone's internal anatomy is different, and unfortunately (for me) the Instead cup comes in one size only. So for ladies for whom the Instead cup doesn't work, try the sponges! I hate to see women have to "close shop" for five or more days per month!
I LOVE Instead!
I've referred several people to it over the past 6 years. Unfortunately it's not widely available. Even health professionals don't know about it, and think I'm wierd for using it.
But it's TOTALLY AWESOME!
The first time with my now husband was pre-planned. However, my body's cycle had other plans. Anyway, short version, everything was wonderful and he didn't really even notice. (And don't get the idea that maybe he couldn't "reach" it, because that certainly isn't the case!!)
Now I can't use my period as an excuse not to -- and neither can he.
Ladies, it means oral every day of the month!!!!
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