Thursday, April 13, 2006


among the crying randomly (goddam garden state) and jerking off furiously (jon stewart, yum!), i have been globetrotting, or nation-trotting if you will. really just two location-trotting, but enough with the semantics.

a few weeks a go i had the opportunity to spend a full week on my parents' land in north carolina, hauling rocks around a mountain. i built rock walls and lined ditches and bridges. i also built a mock kiln that operated as a fire pit.

i ate cinnamon apple pancakes with my father at grandma's pancake and steak in Cherokee, then cruised next door to the talking leaves bookstore where i bought my first sherman alexi (the lone ranger and tonto fist fight in heaven). remarkably, i was able to read the book (a task that has been difficult since my breakdown this fall).

i played with my baby cousins and tolerated my middle sister (until my parents' tried to force us to drive 13 hours together, bad bad bad idea).

i even planted a mountainside garden. down the slope from the house (because my mother didn't want the birds scatting all over the yard) i planted mounds of squash, zucchini, watermelon (three kinds!), pumpkins, gourds, and a couple hundred sun flowers. the seed packets promised low maintenance and drought resistance so i hope they come up.

sandy is truly a mountain dog. although at first she was afraid to walk over raised branches, by the end of the trip she was galloping through the woods. once we arrived after the two day drive, sandy decided she did not want to get back in the car. so she chased the car up and down the mountain instead of riding along. her tongue flopped wildly. half the time you could only see her tail swinging along in the rear view. she had a blast.

after a short week back in houston, i took off again. this time for the sex work matters conference in new york. i met many lovely ladies (,, and among them). unfortunately, dacia and i were struck down with flu-like infections and had to leave the conference only half-full of the knowledge and networking provided.

the night before the conference was spent at the sex worker visions art show the place was jam packed. i was performance artist Melissa Gira's bodyguard for the evening. i really wanted to buy christy road's self-exam piece (yeah, speculums and mirrors).

oh, and my cleavage was reunited with miss rachel kramer bussel's boobage. the girls are still rosy from the encounter.

I was even interviewed by the new york times. okay, so i'm not a foot fetish model, but i've done foot play. i just didn't want my grandmother to see my picture in the new york times (and they took plenty of pictures) with the subtitle, "jane vincent, a self-proclaimed whore". and the reporter was super skeezy. he was pissed that i wouldn't give him my real name. props to the photographer, who was chill and down to earth. The link is long and you have to be a ny times member, but it was the "an old profession that's new to doing taxes article" of april 5th, if you want to check it out.

that saturday was spent gallery hopping with a sex worker posse composed of melissa gira, jessica melusine, audacia and myself.

on sunday, my flight was rescheduled due to my massively swollen ear drums. so i slept all day in dacia's bed, drinking water and dosing myself on mucinex.

but the unfortunate illness allowed for a surprise appearance at monday night's Pervert's Saloon. I read from "the naked man in my bathroom" The best part was meeting so many fellow bloggers and readers. A special shout out to Rose of who wrote an amazing piece for O, my first orgasm (send in your submissions, people, to that you can read at one day i will learn to do little link things, really.

so, now i'm back in houston, where i'm looking for jobs in my field (at least with some form of youth leadership, teaching, or health angle because all the sex is abstinent only or requires a clinical license), making friends, drinking too much but doing so in public therefore it is social outreach (my shrink is big on social activities), writing a business plan for a coffee shop, and going to the occasional lesbian wet t-shirt contest.


Blogger Viviane said...

Hi Jane!
Photos from the Perverts' Saloon are here:

Lovely to see you twice while you were in NYC.

4/13/2006 10:08 PM  
Blogger Polly Tropia said...

Welcome back! I saw your name in the NYTimes last week. I was like, "WTF? Jane is Everywhere at Once! -- very quantum."

If you feel like being social in late May/early June, and hanging out with lots of sensitive guitar-playing hippies, you might like the Kerrville Folk Festival in abso-fucking-Beautiful Kerrville, Texas. Kerrville is super healing. A great place to have/get over/plot a new nervous breakdown.

And then go swimming.

4/14/2006 1:10 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Let me get this straight: You were in New York, and I was not informed?

Bad Jane. I'd give you forty lashes, but you're probably into that...

4/15/2006 10:03 AM  

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